- p – piano (soft)
- the neighbours have complained
- f – forte (loud)
- the neighbouts are out
- Crescendo
- getting louder – testing the neighbours tollerance level
- ff
- fortissimo (VERY loud) – to hell with the neighbours
- pp
- pianissimo (VERY soft) – the neighbours are at the door
- Dim
- thick
- Obbligato
- being forced to practice
- Rit (and/or) Rall
- coming up to the bit you haven’t practiced
- Con moto
- I have a car
- Allegro
- a little motor car
- Maestro
- a bigger motor car
- Metronome
- person small enough to fit comfortably into a Mini
- Lento
- the days leading up to Easto (with eggo and choco and things)
- Largo
- brewed in Germany (hence “Handel’s Largo reaches parts other beers cannot reach”)
- Piu Animato
- if you don’t clean that rabbit out it will have to go
- Interval
- time to meet the players in the bar
- Perfect Interval
- when drinks are on the house
- Cantabile
- singing (that is, viz. drunk)
- Con spirito
- drunk again
- Cantata
- a fizzy drink
- Tutti
- ice cream
- Coda
- served with chipsa
- Codetta
- child’s portion
- Chords
- things that organists play with one finger
- Dischords
- things that organists play with two fingers
- Suspended chord
- for lynching the soloist
- Rubato
- ointment for the musician’s back
- Subdominant
- “I can’t play until I’ve asked the wife”
- Tonic
- a pick-me-up
- Syncopation
- bowel contition brought on by an overdose of Jazz
- Crotchet
- knitting
- Quaver
- the feeling you get before a lesson when you haven’t practiced
- Key signatures
- silly things put there to frighten you (ignore them – they will go away and so will your audience)
- Time signatures
- things for drummers to ignore
- Colla voce
- this shirt is so tight I can’t talk
- Professional
- anyone who can’t hold down a steady job
- Flats
- English apartments
- A tempo
- in time
- A tempo de cafe
- Ah, coffee time!
- Improvisation
- what you do when the music falls down
- Fugue
- clever stuff
- Prelude
- warm-up session before the clever stuff
- Acciaccatura / Appoggiatura
- insects
- Opus
- exclamation made when Moggy has done a “whoopsie” on the carpet
- Scales
- fishy things
- Trill
- bird food
- Virtuoso
- someone who can work wonders with easy-play music
- Antiphonal
- crossed lines
- Melody
- an ancient and now extinct art in songwriting
- Music
- Happiness
